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As a psychotherapist who specializes in emotions, and as a woman with my can Love and Sex be Seperate personal history of serial monogamy, I have come to realize that some men channel their need for love, intimacy, soothing, adult wants nsa Viburnum, and comfort into sexual desire.

Dylan wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Dylan, like most people, wants Lovw be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains. Sepreate believes it is weak to let someone know that he feels lonely and wants company.

Sfperate Alternatively, he thinks it is acceptable to find and ask for sex, which satisfies his need for human connection. Sexual excitement is a core emotion. Sexual matchmaking service new york is often physically felt as sensations in the groin area with an impulse to seek orgasmic release. Sadness, anxietyloneliness, anger, and fear are other emotions that can combine with sexual excitement.

The mashup of the tender emotions with sexual excitement is the brilliant way the mind can make sure core human needs are met in consciously covert yet culturally acceptable ways. Mental health is improved by being in touch with the full range of our core emotions. Therefore, it is in our best interest to know which core emotions can Love and Sex be Seperate present and driving our desire for sex.

Is it pure sexual excitement? Is it a need for comfort?

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Is it a need for connection? If men and boys could own the Sfx range of their emotions, not just anger and sexual excitement, we would see trends in depression and anxiety decrease. When we block our core emotions sadness, fear, anger and needs for intimacy love, companionship, sharing of feelings, closeness men and women develop symptoms including anxiety, shame, and depression.

Symptoms go away when we become reacquainted with our core emotions. This first step to wellness comes from understanding cab it is normal for both men and women to experience sadness, fear, love, anger, and longing for connection both sexual and through talking about our thoughts and feelings with each.

Emotions are not for the weak, they are for the human. Although things are slowly changing, the two main emotions that are most acceptable for men to display are still sexual excitement and anger. So it is not can Love and Sex be Seperate that the tender emotions, Seperaate have to be expressed can Love and Sex be Seperate some way, get bound to love in orlingbury. In fact, channeling needs for comfort and soothing into sex is actually a clever compromise.

Cwn all, during sex men can unabashedly get held, stroked, kissed, hugged, and loved up all under the acceptable guise of a very manly act — that of sexual prowess. But we can do better by helping to change the culture of masculinity so it is in sync with our biology.

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Couple embracing photo available from Shutterstock. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor.

She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals. She lives in New York City.

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For more information and free resources for mental health visit: Find help or get online counseling. Last updated: Here are some examples: Know that humans are complex creatures.

We all have weak and strong parts. Psych Central.

Retrieved on September 24,from https: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Jul Published on Psych Central. Seperwte rights reserved.

Hot Topics Today 1. Unconditional Love: Healing From Traumatic Family Narcissism.

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